Hangzhou Fire Dept Were Not Happy

'Don....me guitar's caught in the lights fitting'

'His Latest Flame' by The Everlate Brothers


'You are having a Gee Raaff aint ya?'
'Happy Birth.......... Can somebody hear Sirens?'
Notice we all had to wear T-shirts with Dons mug on.....

Well Dons birthday bash was a triumph! It was a surprise for him at this swanky club here in Hangzhou, organized by 'The missus'�1�7 And she can organize a party, I went over on Monday afternoon whilst Don was working to help set up stuff.

It was in a club called 'The In Club'�1�7a few miles out of the city. It was a bit strange at first cos the downstairs kinda reception/restaurant was like a the 'Moloko Bar'�1�7out of Clockwork Orange?????�1�7A lounge with big white double beds instead of chairs and little tables built into them......�1�7yep I was thinking the same....Is it one of those kind of clubs????�1�7 but there were no towels to be seen and apparently it was designed by a hot shot interior designer from Japan, so it was that kind of style!!!! It was pretty cool though, way above my station as I illustrated by failing to take my shoes off and spilling my grub over it!�1�7.you take the boy out of Oldham....�1�7et.....�1�7., so anyhow, we spent all afternoon there messing about upstairs at the club part of this place, Jenny doing most of the bossing and me and some other guys doing the lifting�1�7at one point she wanted the marble tables (which weighed a hundred weight Phil!) placed into the shape of the St Andrews Cross for Don. Good attention to detail though. Then we discovered the booze supply....��1�7��1�7��1�7�1�7ops.......�1�7.right, bearing in mind there were 80 or so people expected, the girl had ordered 200 bottles of red wine, 38 bottles of whisky and crates of guinness and lager.....that was at that moment that I realized it was going to be a long night.

Anyway the night-time came and I was in charge of trying to keep the  1�7lt;span style="color:#ff0000;">cat in the bag 1�7lt;/em> and keeping Dons mates from  1�7lt;span style="color:#ff0000;">spillin 1�7the beans 1�7lt;/span> on the fact they knew it was his birthday!!! So he came into the reception room downstairs (the clockwork orange place, remember?) and all his mates were there, and he was asked to go downstairs by Jenny, as a distration tactic, and we all went up to get the surprise ready. So he came up the stairs and we were in darkness and silence, I was poised with the guitar onstage, and he came in , a big paper fire-work set off, lights went on and I played ‘Happy Birthday 1�7lt;/span> accompanied by everyone.

Anyhow Don was genuinely surprised, even though on the way up the stairs he passed through a corridor of balloons, a sign saying private function and a video camera…�1�7��1�7�1�7ow I’d like to put that down to the fact that me, Jenny and his mates did sterling work by keeping it from him 1�7but at Dons ripe old age I'm afraid it's impossible to totally rule out alzheimers. But hey, he enjoyed it, he got his plate from the buffet, sat down in the corner with his tartan rug on and complained that he couldn't hear himself think'�1�7. 1�7only kidding he had a few beers, sang a few songs (me insisting on playing Oasis etc) and got a few kisses from ladies of the lovely variety. The downside was that the Hangzhou Fire Dept turned up and told us that the number of candles, in fact constituted a fire risk.

Twas a great night with all bladdered by the end, I went to the local bar with some cockney mates of Dons, Triffic Geezas knowatoymean?! And that was that.

footnote; So this club was top, the locks were still on the toilets, the taps needed you to turn them off, your glass was filled for you when it looked thirsty, the DJ actually let you get onstage drunk, the bar tenders did cocktail and fire tricks, everyone was happy, taxis were waiting outside at the end, no one was fighting…�1�7��1�7��1�7��1�7��1�7�1�7But to be honest it wasn't the Two of Clubs�1�7in Limeside, you know I do kinda miss that urine smelling, sticky carpeted, fat 'barmaided, nobbo chavish atmosphere............�1�7�1�7not.

CIAo4Now

Gav

P.S. I have picture to post of Dons new pets 1�7.coming very soon.

P.P.S. There is a youtube�1�7movie on the way.

P.P.S.S. State of Confusion�1�7are at The Colliers this weekend so try and get to see them, please heckle Tony that he is now a Sweaty Lover!!! 1�7lt;/span>

PPSSS. Keep posting people!!!!